Archive for June 7th, 2014
I am back – The Return of the Prodigal
Saturday, June 7th, 2014
Picture: Isle of Landa [April 2011]
By Teal Razor, slave of Captain Siri Emerald Jr., Olni
I’M BAAAAAAACK ~ The Return of the Prodigal
In the first place you could say, “She’s back? I didn’t know she was gone.” and in the second place, you could say, “Oh God no! If she calls, tell her I’m not here.” Either way I am glad to be back and I want to warn you, don’t duck into the nearest alley when you see me coming.
There were so many things to observe and hear in Port Olni on my first day back. My Master rented a house. He wanted to rent the same house he was living in when he left Olni. Unfortunately someone had rented his old house and he took the house across the lane. The houses are similar in everyway except they are across from each other. When he told me that we could not have the old dwelling, I tried to hide my piteous cries by stuffing my face with a cream cake.
He could see through my deception which means either I am a poor liar or I find it amusing to feign distress through a mouthful of cake. In any instance, he said, “Would you like me to gag you slut? I think I will gag you, then you can’t make noise and you can’t eat. That will solve your problem and mine.” I rather thought he was being harsh with me but I quickly remembered that I had no rights as I am an animal. So I stopped screwing around and came correct.
It turned out okay because the new house is more commodious. I would like to say to the citizen that rented the old house of my Master in Olni Var…I don’t like what you have done with the place.
I was actually hoping that my Master would have changed his hair color, taken on a new caste and moved to Vonda. I would also have disguised my appearance. Moving to Vonda would have made it expeditious to poison the wells there and kill off the vermin who inhabit the city.
But, I am happy to be back in Port Olni. I am familiar with the market stalls and those who keep them. The proprietors were glad to see me back with my marketing basket. They give me free samples of their wares so I will stand by their places of business and attract men which brings in needed tarsks.
It is also easier to write my column in Port Olni. It is very quiet in Olni Var. One my first day back I was stopped by our sainted Ubara. She was carrying a scroll case loaded down with scrolls that had arrived for me while I was gone. They were from Gorean’s who had sent in questions for “ASK TEAL”. I must get to answering them.
There were a lot of things that have taken place though since my Master left. A few of them, architectural in nature. The first building I was greeted by is a new tavern that was erected by Buildem and Pray, the architectural firm that the Ubar and Ubara so often put into their employ. The tavern is a public building that is now worthy of the town of Olni.
The new tavern off the commons is akin to a four star restaurant on earth and probably would receive two stars in the Guide Michelin if it were an earth bound establishment. But as it is a Gorean tavern the men could care less if there was excrement on the floors. I, on the other hand, appreciate a well designed and sumptuously decorated space. The new tavern off the commons is now such a place. There is a full kitchen, tasteful art on the walls and a nice dance pit. The only disconcerting note inside the building was a low wooden table with bench seats. The wood used in its building appeared to have been taken from some weathered material in an outdoor picnic area. I overheard that the Ubara is having a lovely marble table constructed for the tavern which will soon replace the old one.
Another building I was glad to see reinstated was the male and female bath house. I think water had become precious in Olni at one point and the bath house was demolished. In its place was a rickety old building that one felt afraid to go into. There was no privacy for men or women and it languished for a time. Olni was starting to smell ripe since no one wanted to use the bath house. I took to swimming in the Olni River everyday. Now a bath house that is accessible in a garden setting. It is also far enough out of the city that loud late night parties will not disturb anyone.
While covering the new construction in Port Olni I have one sad note to report. It is the existence of a group of apartment cylinders in the Olni Var garden. I visited them briefly and felt immediately trapped inside their forbidding walls. I think we need to put the jail where the apartments are and replace the jail with the apartments. With a few deft touches the jail could become a sought after address and the cylinder apartments would function nicely as roomy jail cells.
From the NEW VOICE OF GOR v.4 Issue 161