ASK TEAL – Dubious advice to Goreans


Pictures: Docks of the city of Olni – Saleria

ASK TEAL ~ Dubious advice to Goreans
By Teal Razor

By Teal Razor, slave of Captain Siri Emerald Jr., Port Olni Warrior

Here is my problem. I have a fast approaching pre-arranged companioning with one of the my caste; the caste of warriors. I recently witnessed him denouncing his superior and refusing to defend his Home Stone while the city was under attack. His actions have chilled me to the bone. I want to escape the coming ceremony that I have no control over. It seems my mother and father are adamant that this one is a “keeper” and have elaborate plans costing a sack of gold tarns which my family can ill afford to spend. It might ruin my family. Do you have a suggestion?

Let us delve into your dilemma. I perceive that you are a free woman since you mentioned an upcoming companioning ceremony and that you are of the honorable warrior’s caste. So I am certain you know the codes as any honorable Gorean and would be distraught at someone defecating on them. I can say, as a slave, I would not want a traitor to darken my doorstep and I cast a dim view on the outcome of this event. The worse that can happen is that you will need to stick around and endure his personal shame for a year. Then when the anniversary of your ceremony comes due, you will choose not to renew. Then “you’re home free baby!”

Sorry, I forgot you do not know that term. It was effective communication on earth. I have to keep reminding myself that there is a little blue ball out there called earth. A place I have some fond memories of. But, such is life and one must make the best of it.

I am getting off track. Back to the copious piles of gold that will be spent on this catered affair. It seems to matter not if you run from the affair or stay and be a party of the companioning to this spitting image of bosk dung, you probably WILL, if companioned, leave your companion after a year, (that poor excuse for a meat suit) which will cause your parents to lament the day your were born. If you run pre-companioning, your parents would not only regret ever knowing you, they might lose their retirement. Either way your parents lose even though you will come out about even. So let’s see what can be done to let your parents back out of this dubious “celebration” with good graces and seem heroic for having done so.
It will be up to you to mount a grass roots campaign to declare your “future companion” unfit. All of Gor needs to know of the “warrior” who defecated on his caste codes. Gor must be warned when this type of mental illness creeps on board. No self-respecting free woman would allow the progeny of this psychotic to exit from her womb let alone enter her womb.

Again, I digress. So, in mounting a crusade, you will be vindicated. Your parents will be proud that you stood up for true caste members where ever they may be, and you will be relieved of the guilt and shame of causing the ruination of your parents.

By the way, if you need a campaign manager, I am available on short notice.


I am a slave. I used to live in the northern climes of Gor. There, we called our masters, Jarls. We did not have to kneel in the presence of the free. We could walk by them and not be concerned that the free would want a report of who we were and where were we going. We had too much work to do to be kneeling down and relaxing. I was bought by a new Master and he lives in a southern clime. In the new city, I have to kneel constantly in the presence of the free, I have to say Master this and Master that. I am not happy with all this regimentation. I do not want to run away. Do you have a solution for me?

You seem to know little about how things are done around here. I appreciate that you come from a land that you have good feelings about. I too know of such feelings myself. Here is what I don’t do, though. I don’t kneel all the time in the presence of the free. Think about it, if you got on your knees to every free person you passed, even though they may not give a rosy red urts ass as to the reason you are walking around , you would never be able to accomplish tasks.

I do kneel when I am speaking to them or they are speaking to me or if I am serving them. Otherwise a slave does not have to spend their lives on their knees. It is a bad habit in any case and can cause prepatellar bursitis. So if you are cooking, cleaning, and marketing, etc. you obviously, should be on your feet. It is always a good idea to get on your knees when your own Master enters your presence.

I also don’t do this. I don’t vocalize the sentiments that my previous place of residence was superior to my present city. This kind of talk can lead to a good cuffing or at the very least, being captured and abused. When in Treve, do what the Trevian’s do. For example, in Treve, you might see slave’s spitting in the pots of food awaiting the free. You see that this slave is not being admonished or punished in anyway and continues to get away with this detestable act. Does this mean you join in and jump over the cliff like the rest of the lemmings. This kind of insubordination spreads like wildfire. It is called anarchy. Turning a blind eye to one infraction will, down the road, leave plenty of space for other noxious practices. Maybe slaves will take up swords against the free and defy their Masters, threatening them with death.

Start practicing saying the word Master or Mistress. It is just a small contribution to stave off certain anarchy. Then practice and perfect a graceful kneel. Make it a game with yourself. Tell yourself to “mean it” when you do kneel. Don’t give one of those, “toss back your hair, utter an audible word of disgust at having to do this kneeling thing, and look up into the eyes of the free with a nauseous look and tell them in a sarcastic manner that you would be only too “happy” to comply with whatever they are asking you.” Give them a heartfelt kneel and response. Is it too awful to suggest that? You will be surprised at how much candy you will be tossed.

From the NEW VOICE OF GOR v.4 Issue 153

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