ASK TEAL – Dubious advice to Goreans
Picture: The new Tharna
ASK TEAL ~ Dubious advice to Goreans
By Teal Razor, slave of Captain Siri Emerald Jr., Olni
DEAR TEAL:
I am a free woman. I recently travelled to another city to visit a friend. My friend is also a free woman. She has a male slave. Her slave is quite attractive. I found myself wanting to get in the furs with this slave and so I asked my friend if I could use him. She looked at me in shock and said, “Certainly NOT, and besides in this city the Couching Laws are in effect.” I just nodded and changed the subject. Truth is, I do not know what the “Couching Laws” are. I am too embarrassed to ask anyone here in my city. Could you give me the information on these “Laws”?
DEAR FAILURE TO “HIT” THE LAW BOOKS:
Oh I am right there with you on that one. It is awkward to not be aware of the laws of a city. And, I have heard it said that ignorance of the law is no excuse for breaking it. I have never advised a free woman or slave on this subject and so I myself, “hit the books” in the great library of Port Olni to do some research on your question.
At first I thought it was a group of laws, you know like two or more people sitting on a couch? I started to think in the direction of sofa’s, settee’s, living room suite’s, big comfy chairs. Then my musings took me to psychiatric couches where some of us wind up when we have enough money to pay Master Freud or Master Jung to help us come to grips with the planet.
After a couple of afternoons of sneezing from the dust, hauling scrolls off the shelves of the library, I found your answer. In the simplest of explanations here is the Couching Law that some cities adhere to.
A free woman, if she owns a slave, may take him or her to the furs. After all, that slave is the property of the free woman and she should be accorded the total use, display, and punishment (if needed) of that property. A free woman must be discrete in her use of her slave for those reasons. In other words, you can’t make a public display of sexual congress in the commons area, the front gates, or the arena. Heaven forbid that a free woman would lower herself to make use of a slave at the front gate. Yes, it would be acceptable for a free woman to take her slave to the furs in her own domicile away from prying eyes.
Now, the Couching Laws state that a free woman may not take to her furs, the slave of another. It would be an unwise choice and dangerous.
I have here, copied onto this scroll, a quote from the Couching Laws of Port Olni.
“Any free woman who couches with another’s slave, or readies herself to couch with another’s slave, becomes herself a slave, and the slave of the slave’s Master.”
I think the law speaks for itself. It would be advantageous to curb your sexual appetites and save them for a free man. Now, if that is not possible….well it just has to be possible or your friends will soon see you naked, whipped, and collared.
DEAR TEAL:
I am a free man. My companion and I have just moved to another city. This new city is much nearer the caravan trade routes and allows me to buy merchandise for my stall much more cheaply. My companion and I were both born in the city which we just left. We have a fondness for the city of our birth. When we left we packed our flag which has the city crest on it. In our new city we are fond of flying this insignia over the stall where we sell goods in the market place. I was asked by the landlord of the stall rentals, to take down the ensign of my old city.
He said we lived in the town of “Ramberry” and he felt it was disrespectful to display the ensign of another city in the market stalls of “Ramberry”.
I am really irked by this man. I told him, “Perhaps I will, Sir and perhaps my Mother will turn into an ost next waiting hand.” I know I have to give him an answer as he is harassing us. What should I do so as not to cause a war between the two cities over my need to fly this banner?
DEAR STARTER OF WORLD WAR 3:
Hmmmm…I think I have seen your stall in “Ramberry”, the last time I was there. You sell a lot of glittery things, right? You know, nothing says “love” like receiving a present that glitters. It seems the more “love” you want to express to the recipient the more glittery the gift has to be. I remember my Master stopping by that stall. He purchased a small perfume amphora. The glass was exquisite, delicate, glittery. I hoped he was buying it for me but alas he bought it for the Ubara. He said she deserved nice things more than me. He could be right.
But I digress. Yes…I saw that flag waving in the beautiful breezes of En’var. The flags colors were brilliant against the sky. You should be proud of your former ensign. Now about the Keeper of the Stall Rents, if he is not satisfied you will continue to be accosted by him.
To avoid these frequent confrontations…you could use this flag debacle as a “marketing moment”. I would be a liar, and woe betides the slave who lies, if I told you my Master and I were not attracted to the colorful flag flown from your stall. It is a fabulous way to generate interest in your stall and its contents. I noticed that not one of the other stalls flew a banner.
I am sure, that in the market, there are diverse populations of shopkeepers, not all of whom were born in “Ramberry”. You might suggest to the Keeper of Rents that he permit all stall owners to fly the flags of the cities they are now or formerly from. Have them place a professional and tasteful display of his or her flags on their stalls. It would be surprising to learn that maybe the stall owner next to you from your old city.
This would be a civil way of solving this predicament. The market could sport a more cosmopolitan look. Also the citizens of your old city would be more apt to shop at a stall that was flying the banner of their city.
Once again, a win win situation. By the way, do you have any more of those perfume amphora? I am pestering my Master to buy me one.
From the NEW VOICE OF GOR v.4 Issue 164